Getting through the festive season

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Most people look forward to the festive period but if you are neurodivergent then it can exacerbate issues you already find tricky… changes in routine, activities and expectations.

Some of our ‘neuro-spicy’ staff and families have collaborated to pull together this list of tips and suggestions to help you tackle the Christmas and New Year period. We’ve even included some handy templates and resources!  

Own your own Christmas!

It’s ok to do your version of whatever you want, or need, to do!

Be by yourself, have no decorations, eat your usual favourite foods, stay in jammies, play with old familiar toys, watch the same old TV programmes, open presents (do they need wrapped?) when you feel like it… whatever helps you and your family to cope with these different festive experiences.

Reducing demands can help avoid overwhelm and meltdowns, so everyone can self-regulate.

Social demands can be high at this time of year, so try to be aware of your own social battery and be selective about what you commit too; even if this means missing a gathering or leaving early. Space out social events to make sure you and your family have time to recover and decompress. 

Sensory Solutions

Reducing sensory overload can be tricky at this time of year. Here are some ways to cope:

  1. Create a safe/quiet space with sensory supports and familiar comfy clothes/blankets or ear defenders if needed.
  2. Consider your environment. How can you reduce food smells, lighting or noise? Does changing the environment help; take time out in a quiet, safe space, go outside/for a drive.
  3. Use familiar sensory tools and resources. If you are going out remember to take your favourite sensory items with you. Being in busy or unfamiliar social settings could result in an increase in stimming behaviour and greater reliance on sensory tools.
  4. Communicate. Explain to people if you or your loved one is feeling overwhelmed. Why not encourage the whole family to use our energy battery to share how they are feeling – you can even turn it into a game! If the adults/non-neurodivergent people model some regulating activities (massage, deep breathing, bear hugs, active calming etc.) then it becomes the norm. Brief the whole family on what the triggers or signs of dysregulation are for you and tell them what your sensory solutions and strategies are. 
  5. Plan sensory breaks or active moments try to avoid sensory overwhelm by proactively taking time out to regulate and recharge.

Plan, Prepare & Prioritise

Preparing for all the changes to routine and expectations is so important! If you introduce visual supports such as calendar countdowns, social stories, schedules in advance then you/your neurodivergent loved-one will feel more in control. Having a set routine of activities can help many, others might prefer having a choice of what activities they do or what order they do them in. Use visual choice boards so they can choose and during activities, timers can be great to define the start and end.

There can be a lot of anxiety and/or excitement associated with Christmas, especially Christmas eve when sleeping may be even more difficult. Prioritise some relaxation exercises and wind-down time before bedtime to try ease the transition to sleep (remember, relaxation for some can be both low and high energy!).

Trying to juggle everyone’s needs and expectations at this time of year can be very stressful. It is almost impossible to achieve this. It can be particularly tricky having some children or adults in the household who can and want a more traditional Christmas, balancing that with those who find it more difficult and require their own version. Remember to use your usual strategies and techniques – if that means using separate rooms, each doing different activities at different times, using screen time, fidgets/sensory supports, limiting time at the table, eating under the table, particularly at unfamiliar environments or in a group situation, that is ok.

Maybe having a code word, gesture or symbol card to demonstrate a need for support between family members could work. Remember your own needs – take the time and space to calm your chaos: step outside into the cold air, take some deep breaths, listen to your favourite music! 

Use our resources!

Christmas expectations template

Fill this template in and share with others to help them understand your needs.

We know it can be hard to initiate conversations with family or friends about why you and your loved-ones do things differently at Christmas so hopefully this will make it a little easier.

By explaining your requirements you can set expectations which will help them understand and accommodate your needs so everyone has a good time!

Colouring sheets

Activities

Christmas Bingo game

Regulation tools

Socialising when you are neurodivergent

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The world isn’t set up for neurodivergent people.

Some may think that is an overly generalised statement but, the reality is that modern life is fast paced, highly stimulating and demanding, which is incredibly difficult for everyone but especially for those with additional support needs. Life today comes with a never-ending list of societal expectations, pass your exams, go to University, build a fulfilling career, have successful relationships, become a parent, contribute to your community (we could go on!😉). If you have a neurodivergent condition such as Autism or ADHD, then living up to these expectations can be an up-hill struggle.

The numerous unwritten rules of how to engage in social settings are a minefield for neurodivergent people and they can find building friendships or personal interactions particularly challenging!

For example, a neurodivergent person may struggle to interpret conversational cues so doesn’t understand or see the point of ‘small talk’. Or someone who finds reading body language tricky so is oblivious to another person trying to instigate a conversation and comes across as rude or abrupt when they give one-word answers (or walk away while the other person is mid-sentence!).

And nowadays these situations occur during online interactions too! The expectation that everyone will have a social media presence to document their every move and thought is an additional pressure. Communicating via the internet might be less intimidating than face-to-face interactions for many neurodivergent people but, they are still expected to do this within the ever-changing parameters of digital etiquette which can be difficult to monitor.

All of this leaves many neurodivergent people isolated and excluded because society is not flexible enough to accommodate anyone who processes information and situations differently. They are forced to work extra hard to process the world around them, often ‘masking’ their neurodiversity, by hiding their stimming behaviour or forcing themselves to maintain eye contact or sit still just to fit in. But that requires a massive amount of energy and many people reach ‘burnout’ as they become mentally, psychologically and emotionally exhausted.

What is the solution?

Well in an ideal world, society would change but sadly, it’s not that straight forward. Awareness of neurodiversity is increasing but, practical steps to accommodate neurodivergent people are slow at being implemented throughout society.

  • More social spaces!

There needs to be a greater understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent people who should be celebrated and included rather than being expected to adjust their behaviour to conform to restrictive societal expectations. There is a shortage of social activities where neurodivergent people can meet others and socialise without sensory overload and where neuro-inclusivity is the norm, not the expectation!

At SensationALL, our mission is to provide safe places for ALL ages to access play and social groups where everyone can be themselves and feel they belong with support from our specialist practitioners.

Our range of social groups, known as ‘SociALLise’, are designed around the preferences and needs of the attendees so they can have fun doing things they enjoy. There are SociALLise groups for primary school ages, teenagers and young adults and we now regularly hold five different sessions each week in Aberdeen and Westhill.

Most importantly, SociALLise is a community! Once you have a place, it is yours for life. Over the years, many youngsters have transitioned from the primary school aged groups right up to the young adult groups and along the way have made life-long friends.

“I love attending SensationALL! I can be myself. I don’t worry about what other people think of me there.”

a SociALLise attendee

  • Practical Support

We believe in empowering individuals by sharing our SensationALL tips and techniques which they can use in everyday life to feel more resilient in overwhelming situations. Sessions are a safe space to share experiences and open up about worries allowing them to understand more about themselves and build self-value and feel accepted. This support allows them to take ownership of their neurodivergent identity as they realise they are not alone.

Our team of practitioners have a wealth of experience in supporting individuals with complex needs and as some identify as neurodivergent themselves they can use first-hand experiences to relate to our attendees.

Supporting SociALLise sessions

Demand is growing exponentially for places in our SociALLise sessions and we have 90 youngsters waiting for places right now! New families are approaching us every week but we need to increase our income before we can create more of these invaluable groups.

Our aim is to have more SociALLise sessions taking place in locations across Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire so if you want to help SensationALL support more young neurodivergent people please get in touch! You could fundraise for us or get involved with one of our upcoming events, click below for details.

For anyone interested in using our services or attending a SociALLise session, the first step is to register with us.