Most people look forward to the festive period but if you are neurodivergent then it can exacerbate issues you already find tricky… changes in routine, activities and expectations.
Some of our ‘neuro-spicy’ staff and families have collaborated to pull together this list of tips and suggestions to help you tackle the Christmas and New Year period. We’ve even included some handy templates and resources!
Own your own Christmas!
It’s ok to do your version of whatever you want, or need, to do!
Be by yourself, have no decorations, eat your usual favourite foods, stay in jammies, play with old familiar toys, watch the same old TV programmes, open presents (do they need wrapped?) when you feel like it… whatever helps you and your family to cope with these different festive experiences.
Reducing demands can help avoid overwhelm and meltdowns, so everyone can self-regulate.
Social demands can be high at this time of year, so try to be aware of your own social battery and be selective about what you commit too; even if this means missing a gathering or leaving early. Space out social events to make sure you and your family have time to recover and decompress.
Sensory Solutions
Reducing sensory overload can be tricky at this time of year. Here are some ways to cope:
- Create a safe/quiet space with sensory supports and familiar comfy clothes/blankets or ear defenders if needed.
- Consider your environment. How can you reduce food smells, lighting or noise? Does changing the environment help; take time out in a quiet, safe space, go outside/for a drive.
- Use familiar sensory tools and resources. If you are going out remember to take your favourite sensory items with you. Being in busy or unfamiliar social settings could result in an increase in stimming behaviour and greater reliance on sensory tools.
- Communicate. Explain to people if you or your loved one is feeling overwhelmed. Why not encourage the whole family to use our energy battery to share how they are feeling – you can even turn it into a game! If the adults/non-neurodivergent people model some regulating activities (massage, deep breathing, bear hugs, active calming etc.) then it becomes the norm. Brief the whole family on what the triggers or signs of dysregulation are for you and tell them what your sensory solutions and strategies are.
- Plan sensory breaks or active moments try to avoid sensory overwhelm by proactively taking time out to regulate and recharge.
Plan, Prepare & Prioritise
Preparing for all the changes to routine and expectations is so important! If you introduce visual supports such as calendar countdowns, social stories, schedules in advance then you/your neurodivergent loved-one will feel more in control. Having a set routine of activities can help many, others might prefer having a choice of what activities they do or what order they do them in. Use visual choice boards so they can choose and during activities, timers can be great to define the start and end.
There can be a lot of anxiety and/or excitement associated with Christmas, especially Christmas eve when sleeping may be even more difficult. Prioritise some relaxation exercises and wind-down time before bedtime to try ease the transition to sleep (remember, relaxation for some can be both low and high energy!).
Trying to juggle everyone’s needs and expectations at this time of year can be very stressful. It is almost impossible to achieve this. It can be particularly tricky having some children or adults in the household who can and want a more traditional Christmas, balancing that with those who find it more difficult and require their own version. Remember to use your usual strategies and techniques – if that means using separate rooms, each doing different activities at different times, using screen time, fidgets/sensory supports, limiting time at the table, eating under the table, particularly at unfamiliar environments or in a group situation, that is ok.
Maybe having a code word, gesture or symbol card to demonstrate a need for support between family members could work. Remember your own needs – take the time and space to calm your chaos: step outside into the cold air, take some deep breaths, listen to your favourite music!
Use our resources!
Christmas expectations template
Fill this template in and share with others to help them understand your needs.
We know it can be hard to initiate conversations with family or friends about why you and your loved-ones do things differently at Christmas so hopefully this will make it a little easier.
By explaining your requirements you can set expectations which will help them understand and accommodate your needs so everyone has a good time!
